1. When we were talking about getting married, my pastor told us that "Divorce is not an option." It sounds so simple, but when you take the option out of your vocabulary you realize that no matter what comes you've got to work it out. It's kinda like when your on a diet and you clean out your kitchen of all unhealthy things -- your making failure "not an option." (now let me ask, how many of us truely clean everything out? we generally go in there and EAT all of the unhealthy things right before the start day of the diet... yeah, you know what I'm talkin' about!!!) However, if you leave just one chocolate, even if you put it in the freezer, for "just in case," you cave so much faster....so why even give youselve the option? Divorce for us = not an option.
2. Love is not a term to be taken lightly. In today's society it seems that everyone "loves" everyone... "love ya man!" but I'm certain that that much love is going around! The crime rate would definitely be lower if it were! It seems that people have gotten immune to the power of the phrase, I love you. I hear it all the time-- people on the phone with someone in departure saying, "Love ya, Bye." No emotion, just a phrase spoken without thought. A habit.... the Hubster and I never want those special words to become stagnant so we have a "rule": Do not say that you love me if you don't feel it in your toes. Now that may sound crazy... what do we mean, feel it in your toes? Well, when we were first in love, it seemed like we got all excited to see one another... almost like the excitement was from your head to your toes... butterflies, goosebumps, all that love-jazz = love from your toes. So, no, I do not hear the phrase "I love you" from my husband everytime we talk (we do say other sweet, kissy, disgusting words to one another) but when we do say it, is is special -- it makes me stop in my tracks, no matter what I'm doing, to acknowledge that he is feeling all goosepimpley about me. It's still makes me feel all bubbly inside!!!!
3. Love is not the same all the time. I believe that this is why so many couples find themselves in divorce (and then because of #1 on the list). Love that you feel when your dating is exciting, new, unknown... probably mostly lust. It's a high... the hormones get all fuzzy and it feels good but as time goes on love takes a different appearance. After being married, sure, I still get those times of pure excitement, but not as often. We know each other... there's little new and little unknown but there's still love. It's not the excitement of getting to hold his hand or kiss him anymore (Honey, I do still like to do those things, don't worry <---can you say Marriage Maintenance?! lol!) but it's the doing the dishes so I don't have to. It's the vacuuming the floor while I'm at the grocery store. It's the dandelions picked while he's playing outside with the kids. It's the playing with the kids. It's the York Peppermint Patty that he brings home for me b/c he knows I love them. It's the feeling of security and safety that I feel when he's with me. Love is no longer a rise in the serotonin... it's a way of life.
I was just reminding the Hubster about a time when we were dating: we were at a restaurant holding hands while we ate our lunch when a friend came over. He began to laugh at us and told us that he could tell that we were in love because we couldn't even eat without holding onto one another. He congratulated us but left us saying that it would pass. In all our ignorance, we denied that our love would ever change. We were ignorant -- our love did change. It became stronger, more stable, and less flashy. It transformed from the flirty winks at work to a dinner on the table. From talking on the phone for hours to three beautiful children. It changed.
Our love has evolved and though I cannot completely explain it, it is a wonderful, beautiful, awesome thing -- like Merdie-Meese (3-yrs) said today as she watched her daddy and me jump on the trampoline together,
"Awwww, the mystery of wubb!"
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